“Raise a glad cry, you barren one who never bore a child, break forth in jubilant song, you who have never been in labor, For more numerous are the children of the deserted wife than the children of her who has a husband, says the Lord. For your husband is your Maker; the LORD of hosts is his name, The Lord calls you back, like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, A wife married in youth and then cast off, says your God. For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with great tenderness I will take you back.” Isaiah 54
After my reversion, this was one of the first verses that “spoke” to me. Jesus is my true Spouse – I am his Bride. God calls all of us his children. Yet He desires an even more intimate relationship – that of marriage.
I had struggled with the sorrow of not being a mother since I was young. I had PCOS – resulting in very sporadic periods and even went years without a period. Plus, I didn’t have the best of luck in dating.
I had a metanoia experience in 2019, where Jesus rescued me from many lies and sins of the world. He showed me what true Love is and taught me the meaning of my sexuality and my body. Not surprisingly, my physical health began to improve alongside my spiritual well-being.
I started to study Theology of the Body, the “Feminine Genius,” as well as spiritual motherhood. I surrendered my desire for biological motherhood as I leaned into the beauty of spiritual motherhood. Afterall, all women’s primary vocation is as spiritual mothers.
At age 39, I met my husband in January 2022, and we got married January 13, 2024. After marriage, the longing for motherhood resurged. Finally, I met a man who I’d want to become a parent with. Also, my cycles were regular for the first time in my life.
After a year of marriage and no conception, I was praying the surrender novena and again, re-surrendered this deep desire to God. I was given the gift of peace and trust in His Will. I want what God wants for my life, and I do trust Him completely (whether I always “feel” like it or not).
My husband and I had the miracle of a lifetime – on March 19, 2025, I found out I was pregnant for the first time in my life. It was like winning the lottery, but better. Sadly, despite doing “all the things,” my baby died, and I miscarried on June 1, 2025.
People told me I could “try again”. That sounded impossible. I could never replace this child, this unrepeatable eternal life.
However, after my first ovulation post-miscarriage, my heart shifted, and I was again open to life. God created me to be able to ovulate again so soon, so I trusted Him. Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s knowing there is something more important than fear.
Not knowing if God will ever gift us another child again or not, I am back in the place of waiting…
There are so many Bible stories about infertility, but in every single one, the woman does conceive. Abraham and Sarah – parents of Issac, Rebeka and Issac – parents of twins Jacob and Esau, Jacob and Rachel – parents of Joseph and Benjamin, Elkanah and Hannah – parents of Samuel, the anonymous wife of Manoah – mother of Samson, and Anne and Joachim – parents of Mother Mary.
These stories offer tremendous hope. With God, all things are possible. God can even alter the laws of nature, because He created nature. Even for the women past reproductive age – well into menopause- God can create life in their wombs. He can and does perform such miracles today.
But what about when He doesn’t?
God sometimes allows couples to experience infertility indefinitely. He allows couples to never have a child. This isn’t His Perfect Will – as He created us to “be fruitful and multiply” – but He allows this in our fallen world.
What is it about a baby that creates such a strong desire in a woman’s (couple’s) heart? Is it that a baby is the closest thing to God? That God is physically creating a new eternal person (body and soul) within a woman’s body?
The Eucharist gives me strength and hope. It is the creation of Jesus’ Body and Blood within the form of bread and wine. The Eucharist is Jesus’ Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity – which He allows me to consume and physically become part of me. It is God within me, physically and spiritually.
Is becoming a mother something that gives us a sense of identity? Of meaning? It is extremely rich in meaning but we must remember that our identity is as a daughter of God, the Most High King and Heavenly Father. And that our calling of being spiritual mothers to others is primary to biological motherhood.
The desire for motherhood is good. God gave it to us. But we must not allow it to become an idol. It can become almost an obsession. We see this in the extreme form as IVF, which the Church teaches is against human dignity because it separates the bonding and procreative parts of conjugal love, similarly to contraception. Further, it treats a child as a commodity to be had at any price, when in reality a child is gift from God beyond any price – beyond any merit or us being “deserving” enough to receive.
I wonder if the Bible verses about infertility also refer to our Eternal Reward?
“To the childless wife he gives a home and gladdens her heart with children”. Psalm 113
“The barren wife bears seven sons, while the mother of many languishes.” 1 Samuel 2
The references to infertility highlight that motherhood is one of the greatest gifts we can receive – God’s life within us. But we can and do have God’s life within us. God calls us all. If we open ourselves to Him, He will cause us to be fruitful.
When we are spiritually “poor,” we know that we can do nothing without God. Our Hope is in Him. Jesus is Heaven. Yes, we have the hope of eternal life with Jesus forever in Heaven. We can also “have” Jesus now, on Earth. Does it require more Faith and Trust? Yes. But He is here right now. He is closer to you than you know. He desires you more than you can imagine. Take your desire for a child and multiply it exponentially – He longs for you so much.
“Jesus wept.” John 11:35
This reminds us that Jesus suffers with us. He cries for and with us. God created us to “be fertile and multiply” but, in our fallen world, infertility and miscarriage happen.
“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions for the sake of His body, which is the church.” Colossians 1:24
Jesus still suffers with us, until His second coming and the end of the world. Our sufferings can be united with His for our salvation and for reparation for our past sins. Jesus opened Heaven to us, but He also shows us that we all will and must suffer in this life. What will we do with the crosses He gives us?
“Peace I leave with you. My Peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27
If we surrender our hopes, dreams, fears, desires, hearts to Jesus, He will guide us and grant us grace and strength for our earthly journey. Jesus is Hope. We must never stop hoping.
I’ve written this all for myself as much as for any other woman who may be strengthened by these Words of God. Jesus, I believe, help my unbelief. Help me keep my eyes on Yours alone.
About Dr. Whelan
Dr. Whelan is a highly regarded licensed naturopathic doctor (N.D.) and Creighton Model FertilityCare™ Medical Consultant. She is renowned for her expertise in treating PCOS and endometriosis. Her practice specializes in lifestyle medicine, nutritional counseling, botanical medicine, and bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.
Selecting Dr. Whelan as your women’s health expert ensures you receive a doctor who listens to your concerns, identifies the root causes of your health issues, and supports you with preventive care to help you achieve your best possible life.
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